Thursday, July 5, 2007

Note to self:

Don't schedule your annual ob/gyn visit two days after wallaby physicals!

Wallabies (small kangaroos) don't especially enjoy being restrained for veterinary procedures. Wallabies are expert kickers. Before I got the wallaby properly restrained for his blood draw, he gave me a couple of good kicks to my right arm and right side of my chest. No big deal, part of the job, but I bruise easily and the bottom of my arm and my chest were black and blue.

Fast forward to gyn-y visit. I'm lying on the table with my paper sheet and it's time for the breast exam. I put my right hand up under my head, exposing my very bruised arm and chest. The nurse practioner freaked out. (Yes, I feel safe in my home...) She was VERY amused by the explanation and I think my exam was three times as long as it should have been because she kept asking zoo questions. Embarrassing, but not quite as embarrassing as Someone Else's recent appointment a few days after her drunken birthday paddling!

Then last week I went to the family doc to get some warts frozen off my knee and arm. The bruises were gone but I still had some shiny scars. He asked if I got burned and I stupidly blurted out that I got kicked by a wallaby. He also found my injury humerous and kept me longer than necessary.

Minor work injuries are such a part of my life I rarely give them a thought. It's always amazing to me that medical people (who supposedly see EVERYTHING) find them so funny. Last year I hurt my back lifting a large tortoise out of his mud hole. When I went to the prompt care and told the nurse what caused the injury she laughed and called other staff into the room. As I left several staff members called out "Don't pick up any more big turtles, hee hee hee." Uh, glad to provide your entertainment for the night!

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