Monday, September 15, 2008

only once a year

Today was the dreaded annual vet visit for cat vaccines. Taking the cat to the vet requires careful planning, sneaky acting and mad skillz at catching and crating wild animals. It also requires a higher tolerance for meowing and cat hair than I possess.

Step One is to trap the cat inside one of the bedrooms by simply closing the door. The kids cannot be involved with this step because they will inevitably tip off the cat by hollering "The cat's in Logan's room!" The cat will then escape outside, never to be seen or heard from again. Step One was easy this morning. Gene noticed the cat in Logan's room and shut the door.

Step Two is to keep the kids from opening the bedroom door while I clean the pet carrier that has been gathering dust in the garage for a year. Why didn't I clean the crate last night or last week? Because DUH! that would tip off the cat who will escape outside and never be seen or heard from again.

Step Three is to slip quickly into the closed bedroom with the crate without allowing the cat to slip out and escape outside never to be seen or heard from again.

Step Four is The Chase. It is where the cat sees the crate and begins tearing around the room, bouncing off furniture and doing anything in her power to avoid being caught. This step is where all of my vet's office and zoo experience pays off. I'm good at catching and Logan's room is small. This morning's catch was no problemo.

Step Five is stuffing the writhing, scratching beast into the pet carrier. Again, I'm pretty experienced at this and managed to escape without a scratch. It was still not fun, however...

Phew! The cat is crated and ready to go. Now the yowling begins. Nonstop rrrrrOW, rrrrrOW, rrrrrrrOW, rrrrrrrrOW!!! for 20 minutes before we leave (I have to start early just in case) and then even louder for the dreaded 15 minute car ride. The yowling stops the moment we enter the office. The next trick is to remove the cat from the carrier to be weighed. She has shrunk herself to the size of a cantaloupe in the far corner of the carrier. The Dreaded Box has transformed magically into the Wonderful Refuge. Grrrrrr. A few minutes later the cat is weighed and in the exam room. She sits perfectly still on the table, first allowing the vet tech to look at her ears and teeth and then allowing the vet to perform his exam. She doesn't flinch for the three vaccines and returns immediately to her crate when it's over. She then spends ten quiet minutes back in the waiting room while I pay and chat with the receptionists.

Fifteen more minutes of non-stop yowling in the car and we're safely home. No more scheduled vet visits for another year! I'm ready for some Advil and a nap! The cat has disappeared outside, but probably only for the rest of the day.

No comments: