As of yesterday, it's been 6 weeks since my surgery. That means I have been off work for 6 weeks! I should go back two weeks from tomorrow. I can't believe how much I have and have not accomplished! When I tore a tendon and had to miss 7 weeks of work two years ago, I spent my entire time off stressing about not being at work. I accomplished next to nothing, felt completely sorry for myself and didn't enjoy one moment of my time off. After I was safely back at work, I thought back on my experience and laughed at myself over and over. I mean, could I possibly have been more stupid??? I would never have CHOSEN the injury, but what a ridiculous waste of time off! Anyway, I decided that if I ever had to miss work again, I would ENJOY my time off and not worry about work.
I have to say, I've been pretty impressed with myself. I mean, I needed this surgery, but the timing stunk. I knew I was going to miss out on two months of tiger cubs. I knew that the cubs would never remember me after I was gone that long. That does make me a little sad, but at the same time, I'm okay with it. They'll get to know me again when I return. I took Kaylin to see the cubs the other day and they are HUGE! We were just zoo visitors, watching the cubs play in the yard. Mama tiger Kyra didn't take her eyes off of me the entire time we were there. The cubs didn't give me a second glance. I didn't feel hurt or sad, I was happy to show Kyra my cub. (And my cub thought I was a complete dork, lol.)
I've kept up with what's going on. I've sent and received countless texts and emails to/from coworkers. However, I haven't been obsessive. I haven't rushed into work in a panic or even considered it. I haven't sat at home stressing over what I'm missing or what I'll go back to. I love my job and want to keep it as long as possible, but my time off has been an excellent learning experience that if I do have to give up my job due to health concerns (hopefully that means my feet) I will still have a happy and fulfilling life. This knowledge means more to me than I can express! I hope when I do return to work I will take my job much less seriously, be much less of a control freak and be much less stressed-out. I don't plan to change the quality or quantity of my work, I just want a much-needed attitude adjustment- though I think I've already had it.
What I've been doing instead of stressing about not being at work is enjoying time with my kids, my husband and my pets. I've also spent a lot of time with family and friends. I've gone car birding with Meghan, Logan and by myself. I started working out again. I've read at least 8 books and watched lots of movies. I watched a Cooper's hawk hunt at my bird feeders. I was pushed around Wisconsin Dells in a wheelchair. I've cleaned and organized many areas of my house. I did a jigsaw puzzle. I threw a toy pig for my dog to fetch approximately 37 million times. I had lunch with my grandma. Logan and I drove along Lake Michigan for 3 days. I've seen 76 different bird species. I have been cooking for my family and the kids have eaten everything I made. I have been enjoying pretty much every second of my time off and it is making me a better person.
My goal for the next two weeks is to somehow figure out how I can continue to make dinners for the kids after I go back to work. I have fallen into a bad routine because I come home starving and just want to throw a frozen lasagna in the microwave or a pizza in the oven while I shower. Also, my feet have been so bad for the past few years that when I get home from work I don't want to stand at the counter or in front of the stove, I want to SIT. I need to figure out things I can make in the morning and pop in the oven when I get home. Or else have everything ready for one of the kids to make or whatever. I know this comes naturally to many people, but it's a major challenge for me! :) I also want to finish cleaning and decluttering the house, but I won't beat myself up if I don't complete that impossible task.