I accomplished a major personal goal this week and as silly as it is, I'm incredibly proud and happy about it. Accomplished? I don't know if that is actually the right word. Maybe completed? Finished? Survived? I'm not sure...
Six months ago I tore a tendon in my foot and missed six weeks of work. This was my third major injury to my left foot in four years. I was completely devastated because I was convinced I'd have to quit the job I love. I did tons of research looking into other careers and even took a few seminars at Illinois Central College about changing careers, writing resumes and cover letters and an hours-long aptitude test. I talked to countless people and got countless ideas, but the bottom line was that I wanted to remain a zoo keeper. I find my job to be incredibly fulfilling and meaningful and I can't imagine anything else being as personally satisfying. I not only love the animals, but I also love the work itself and especially finding solutions to the constant challenges that arise in working with the unpredictable and always changing animals and situations. I love working outside and am usually not bothered by the weather (though this winter of extreme cold and never ending snow is getting on my last nerve.) Anyway, I eventually decided that I will work as a zoo keeper until I absolutely can't do it anymore. I don't know if that will be 2 weeks or 20 years, but I'm going to make the most of whatever time I have left and more importantly, enjoy it. I will constantly keep my eyes and ears open for my Plan B, but I'm not going to actively seek another job until I have to.
My first major goal was to make it to my anniversary date of January 30th. This was an important goal if only because this was the year my retirement became fully vested. It was also a big deal because I was out of sick time and low on vacation time so I couldn't miss more work. Over time, this deadline somehow became more and more important. I had a scary setback in late October and November when an entrapped nerve in the same foot required me to have a series of weekly alcohol injections that became increasingly painful to the point I was terrible to be around. Not only was I in agony, I was also terrified I wasn't going to make my goal. I finished the injections and the pain slowly subsided. By late November, I was doing a daily countdown. I knew exactly the day I could make it to my anniversary date with full pay if I had to miss work again. I mentally crossed off every day, rejoiced when January finally came and then groaned as it dragged on and on.
I guess it seems kind of dumb and not like much of an actual accomplishment, but my happiness at the arrival of January 30th was comparable to it finally being the day of a major event. I'm not usually much of a celebratory person- I couldn't care less about making a big deal of my birthday- but I actually took treats to work. Almost no one knew what they were for and no one but me could have understood how significant the day was, but I was so happy and relieved. I made it!
Friday, January 31, 2014
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Gender Indentity?
We live in a weird, weird world! I just finished reading a long thread on a forum about gender identity in children. I learned that according to psychologists I am gender variant. This term is very new to me, but its discovery did not give me an "aha" moment with peace, relief and clarity. It just made me feel labeled and like there is something wrong with me. To this I say "Bullshit!" I am who I am and I like who I am and do not label me as defective because I am different from the perceived norm!
As a child I liked to play outside. I liked to have adventures and get dirty and play with animals and tromp through the creek. I owned a little case with one fake Barbie and a bunch of clothes. I played with her when I was forced to play with some girl who lived around the corner from my grandma or one of my female cousins. I was never embarrassed that my Barbie was fake or gave it any thought because I didn't care about it at all. I hated dressing up because dress clothes were itchy and uncomfortable and wearing a dress meant I couldn't get dirty or play like I wanted. I never cared about "looking pretty" because for whatever reason it just didn't interest me. Maybe you don't care at all about the stock market or football or knitting. That is how I have always felt about clothes, makeup and jewelry. I have zero interest. I almost never think about these things unless I am forced. I really don't think I have ever suffered low self-esteem or anything similar due to my appearance because it almost never occurs to me to think about it.
As I grew into a preschooler, I started to realize that wearing a dress meant I was expected to act "ladylike" and sit quietly and not crawl around on the floor playing kitty or vrooming cars. I noticed the boys wore pants and it was completely acceptable for them to act wild and get dirty. Dresses equaled boring torture, pants equaled fun. Girls equaled sitting quietly and sewing and sipping tea. Boys equaled having fun and playing outside and getting dirty. As a person with no interest in appearances, I identified with the boys. I questioned the women and when I got "because you're a girl" as a response, I couldn't accept such a shallow answer and I rebelled. I began to equate dresses with not getting to be who I was. Dresses were evil. I still hate them.
In junior high I went through a short phase where I was peer-pressured enough to slightly care about my clothes. Actually, I didn't care at all about the clothes, just the brands. As long as my clothes were certain brands, they were acceptable and I could get away with wearing t-shirts or polos and jeans with my Reebok high tops. I still never wore makeup or cared a hoot about my hair or appearance. I remember being absolutely shocked to find out that nearly all of my female friends tried out for cheerleading. That was something that never even entered my mind and I was completely confused when girls who were so obviously not meant to be cheerleaders were extremely disappointed about not making the team. To me, being a cheerleader meant caring deeply about all of the things I had no interest in. I wasn't jealous or envious because it meant nothing to me.
In high school I had a tight group of friends. We were all misfits and most of us were completely okay with that. I remember a few people trying to bully me for being different, but it confused me far more than hurt me and I guess I didn't give the proper reaction because it never lasted more than a couple of verbal insults and never led to anything physical. Again, I never felt hugely different or out of place because I rarely thought about it. As I entered adulthood, I still remained who I always was. I still don't think about appearance and don't wear makeup and have had the same hair style for nearly 30 years. It usually takes something like getting something in my eye and flipping down the car visor mirror in the bright sun for me to notice whoa! I have a lot of gray and should probably color my hair soon. Even then, I don't dwell on it and might forget for another month. At age 41 I remain uninterested in clothes, jewelry and makeup. I think I have plenty of good friends, a great husband of 20 years, two wonderful children, a job and hobbies I love and enjoy. My life is pretty good and fulfilling without being stereotypically feminine.
Back to childhood gender roles... I was a tomboy for sure, but it was more out of wanting to do what I wanted to do and be who I was and then practically being forced to rebel against stereotypic gender roles to prove my point. I have never been any more interested in boy fashion than girl fashion. As a young child I possibly wished I was a boy, but only because it was so unfair that it was completely acceptable for boys to be doing what I wanted to do. I never identified as a boy or wished I had a penis or grew up feeling I was in the wrong body. Any discomfort I've ever had as a female resulted from not matching outside expectations of who I should be. And it never lasted long because that is not something I ever think about or dwell on. Despite the fact that I don't pretty myself up like a "normal" woman, I have done the most stereotypically female things- I got pregnant, grew two babies inside my uterus, gave birth twice and then breastfed each child for nearly a year. I love that my body is capable of doing these things! I don't want to be a man.
Another thing that has been occasionally (or maybe often and I have been oblivious) assumed about me based on my appearance is that I am a lesbian. This is not something I have ever found offensive or taken as an insult, so again, anyone who was trying to tease me was probably disappointed and backed off quickly. In fact, I have never been attracted to women, only men. Dressing or acting like a boy, playing with boy toys, etc. did not make me a lesbian. I most certainly do not think similar activities will make my children or any other children gay. I will always remember and laugh at toddler Logan playing with his ~4-yr-old sister and the same-aged neighbor girls. My neighbor had an in-home daycare with three little girls. Kaylin played with them constantly and Logan started tagging along as he got old enough. Their big thing was playing princess and dressing up. Logan wanted to join in the fun and would often allow them to put him in a dress. I thought it was hilarious and adorable, but the neighbor absolutely freaked out that it would make him gay. She also thought Gene would probably leave me if he found out. Seriously? I have an absolutely adorable picture of Logan wearing a dress and sitting on the lawn tractor. Attitudes like this make me sad. C'mon people, clothes and toys do not make children gay. I could be the poster child for this.
I always enjoyed watching my kids and observing their gender roles when they were little (and even now.) Both kids loved Thomas trains with wooden tracks. Kaylin liked building different track formations that went to different fantasy lands. She played with the trains as characters. Logan liked building different functional tracks and played with the trains as vehicles. Both kids liked sorting their toy collections (Kaylin's ponies, Logan's cars) and would spend countless hours lining them up in various ways. Kaylin kept a running commentary, Logan would just make vrooming noises, but both were continuously thinking and plotting what they were doing. Sometimes Kaylin played with cars and Logan played with ponies. Overall, both of my kids have been more interested in things more stereotypically linked to their sex. One of the comments on the gender identity thread was from a woman with no children and accused another woman of a little girl of "forcing" princess toys on her child and that's why she loved them. Ha! Really? I'm pretty sure my little girl NEVER had a princess toy forced on her by her mother!
I have completely strayed from the original point of this entry, but I guess what I want to get across is that I don't feel like or think I have a disorder. If "gender variant" only means that I do not fit stereotypical female gender roles, I will happily admit that is true. If it means there is something psychologically wrong with me because I don't care about dresses and jewelry, I don't think so. I think my issue is primarily disinterest in the subject. It is more obvious to others than my other disinterests, but is it really "worse"? I mean, basically no one cares that I never think about the perfect lawn application for the greenest grass or different qualities of yarn or the new tax laws for 2014. Why should I care deeply for something just because the majority of the female population does? I can think for myself, thank you very much!
As a child I liked to play outside. I liked to have adventures and get dirty and play with animals and tromp through the creek. I owned a little case with one fake Barbie and a bunch of clothes. I played with her when I was forced to play with some girl who lived around the corner from my grandma or one of my female cousins. I was never embarrassed that my Barbie was fake or gave it any thought because I didn't care about it at all. I hated dressing up because dress clothes were itchy and uncomfortable and wearing a dress meant I couldn't get dirty or play like I wanted. I never cared about "looking pretty" because for whatever reason it just didn't interest me. Maybe you don't care at all about the stock market or football or knitting. That is how I have always felt about clothes, makeup and jewelry. I have zero interest. I almost never think about these things unless I am forced. I really don't think I have ever suffered low self-esteem or anything similar due to my appearance because it almost never occurs to me to think about it.
As I grew into a preschooler, I started to realize that wearing a dress meant I was expected to act "ladylike" and sit quietly and not crawl around on the floor playing kitty or vrooming cars. I noticed the boys wore pants and it was completely acceptable for them to act wild and get dirty. Dresses equaled boring torture, pants equaled fun. Girls equaled sitting quietly and sewing and sipping tea. Boys equaled having fun and playing outside and getting dirty. As a person with no interest in appearances, I identified with the boys. I questioned the women and when I got "because you're a girl" as a response, I couldn't accept such a shallow answer and I rebelled. I began to equate dresses with not getting to be who I was. Dresses were evil. I still hate them.
In junior high I went through a short phase where I was peer-pressured enough to slightly care about my clothes. Actually, I didn't care at all about the clothes, just the brands. As long as my clothes were certain brands, they were acceptable and I could get away with wearing t-shirts or polos and jeans with my Reebok high tops. I still never wore makeup or cared a hoot about my hair or appearance. I remember being absolutely shocked to find out that nearly all of my female friends tried out for cheerleading. That was something that never even entered my mind and I was completely confused when girls who were so obviously not meant to be cheerleaders were extremely disappointed about not making the team. To me, being a cheerleader meant caring deeply about all of the things I had no interest in. I wasn't jealous or envious because it meant nothing to me.
In high school I had a tight group of friends. We were all misfits and most of us were completely okay with that. I remember a few people trying to bully me for being different, but it confused me far more than hurt me and I guess I didn't give the proper reaction because it never lasted more than a couple of verbal insults and never led to anything physical. Again, I never felt hugely different or out of place because I rarely thought about it. As I entered adulthood, I still remained who I always was. I still don't think about appearance and don't wear makeup and have had the same hair style for nearly 30 years. It usually takes something like getting something in my eye and flipping down the car visor mirror in the bright sun for me to notice whoa! I have a lot of gray and should probably color my hair soon. Even then, I don't dwell on it and might forget for another month. At age 41 I remain uninterested in clothes, jewelry and makeup. I think I have plenty of good friends, a great husband of 20 years, two wonderful children, a job and hobbies I love and enjoy. My life is pretty good and fulfilling without being stereotypically feminine.
Back to childhood gender roles... I was a tomboy for sure, but it was more out of wanting to do what I wanted to do and be who I was and then practically being forced to rebel against stereotypic gender roles to prove my point. I have never been any more interested in boy fashion than girl fashion. As a young child I possibly wished I was a boy, but only because it was so unfair that it was completely acceptable for boys to be doing what I wanted to do. I never identified as a boy or wished I had a penis or grew up feeling I was in the wrong body. Any discomfort I've ever had as a female resulted from not matching outside expectations of who I should be. And it never lasted long because that is not something I ever think about or dwell on. Despite the fact that I don't pretty myself up like a "normal" woman, I have done the most stereotypically female things- I got pregnant, grew two babies inside my uterus, gave birth twice and then breastfed each child for nearly a year. I love that my body is capable of doing these things! I don't want to be a man.
Another thing that has been occasionally (or maybe often and I have been oblivious) assumed about me based on my appearance is that I am a lesbian. This is not something I have ever found offensive or taken as an insult, so again, anyone who was trying to tease me was probably disappointed and backed off quickly. In fact, I have never been attracted to women, only men. Dressing or acting like a boy, playing with boy toys, etc. did not make me a lesbian. I most certainly do not think similar activities will make my children or any other children gay. I will always remember and laugh at toddler Logan playing with his ~4-yr-old sister and the same-aged neighbor girls. My neighbor had an in-home daycare with three little girls. Kaylin played with them constantly and Logan started tagging along as he got old enough. Their big thing was playing princess and dressing up. Logan wanted to join in the fun and would often allow them to put him in a dress. I thought it was hilarious and adorable, but the neighbor absolutely freaked out that it would make him gay. She also thought Gene would probably leave me if he found out. Seriously? I have an absolutely adorable picture of Logan wearing a dress and sitting on the lawn tractor. Attitudes like this make me sad. C'mon people, clothes and toys do not make children gay. I could be the poster child for this.
I always enjoyed watching my kids and observing their gender roles when they were little (and even now.) Both kids loved Thomas trains with wooden tracks. Kaylin liked building different track formations that went to different fantasy lands. She played with the trains as characters. Logan liked building different functional tracks and played with the trains as vehicles. Both kids liked sorting their toy collections (Kaylin's ponies, Logan's cars) and would spend countless hours lining them up in various ways. Kaylin kept a running commentary, Logan would just make vrooming noises, but both were continuously thinking and plotting what they were doing. Sometimes Kaylin played with cars and Logan played with ponies. Overall, both of my kids have been more interested in things more stereotypically linked to their sex. One of the comments on the gender identity thread was from a woman with no children and accused another woman of a little girl of "forcing" princess toys on her child and that's why she loved them. Ha! Really? I'm pretty sure my little girl NEVER had a princess toy forced on her by her mother!
I have completely strayed from the original point of this entry, but I guess what I want to get across is that I don't feel like or think I have a disorder. If "gender variant" only means that I do not fit stereotypical female gender roles, I will happily admit that is true. If it means there is something psychologically wrong with me because I don't care about dresses and jewelry, I don't think so. I think my issue is primarily disinterest in the subject. It is more obvious to others than my other disinterests, but is it really "worse"? I mean, basically no one cares that I never think about the perfect lawn application for the greenest grass or different qualities of yarn or the new tax laws for 2014. Why should I care deeply for something just because the majority of the female population does? I can think for myself, thank you very much!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Happy New Year!
I haven't posted in forever because I really felt I was changing from a mommy blog to a whining about my foot blog. The change from a mommy blog is kind of natural since the kids are getting older, friends are becoming a bigger part of their lives and privacy is becoming far more important. I don't really care if the kids' friends find my blog and read about Logan swallowing pool water until he puked at nearly every swimming lesson when he was a preschooler, but I don't want to write anything that would embarrass him now. Kaylin is a teenager and at the age when friends are the biggest part of her life. Seemingly EVERYTHING she does involves friends and while I have written about them in the past, I have never felt comfortable doing it, even when things are kept pretty anonymous. Again, if her friends found my blog, they would absolutely know who I was writing about whether I used real names or not. Out of respect for my kids I am officially going to stop mommy blogging as of today. I don't mean I'll never write about the kids, but no more day to day silly stuff that might come back to embarrass them.
So, then, what is the point of this blog? I'm not really sure and maybe it doesn't have one. After all the years I've put into it, I'm not quite ready to scrap it. I imagine this year I will either find another use for it or else it will fade into oblivion. I'm still writing quite a bit for work and for personal pleasure. I'm also now a board member in charge of the newsletter for the local Audubon Society. My term starts in January so I still have no clue what that entails. I'll probably find out soon. I'm also working on some stuff for AAZK (zoo keeper group) that could potentially take a lot of my free time. I guess right now I will plan to update the old blog about once a month. It will probably be more often if exciting things are happening and less often if everything is same old, same old.
Moving on to my whining about my foot blog... Since my last update in November, I learned that I have a new and different entrapped nerve in my foot. I assumed my nerve issues were left over from my surgery last year, but that seems unlikely because of the different location of the pain/sensations. This news hit me kind of hard because it meant that I had yet another issue with my foot. I got 4 or 5 weekly alcohol injections that got progressively worse to the point I went from basically losing every weekend to pain to spending the entire week- shot to shot- in excruciating pain. Work was horrible. The doc wanted to put me on a prescription for nerve pain and tried to get me to go back on prescription pain meds. (Meaning arthritis meds, not Vicodin.) No. I have terrible side effects from that stuff. I'm going to stick with my vitamins and all natural anti-inflammatories. I have no side effects and they work at least as well as the scripts. I decided to quit the shots and just see what happens. I still have some pain, but the nerve issue seems to be slowly improving. I'm just going to wait and see what happens.
My giant fear when I missed a bunch of work due to a torn tendon back in July was that I was going to reinjure myself and have no more paid time off. Well, I'm coming around to my anniversary date on January 30 and at that time will get 6 more weeks of sick time. I have enough E-time saved up that as long as I can make it through next week without major injury, I can make it to my anniversary date with paid time off. Not that I have any real thought that I will have another injury, it's just very comforting to know that I won't be BOOM, out of work and out of pay.
Over the past several months I have spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to decide what to do about work. Zoo keeping is what I love and what I am passionate about. I find my work fulfilling and meaningful and I think I'm pretty good at it. Some of my friends have left/are planning to leave the field claiming they want to do something to "make a difference". Good for them, but I don't feel that way. I think I have and am making a difference doing what I'm doing. I have a few more tricks up my sleeve and a few more things I'd like to accomplish before I move on. If I had the opportunity, I'd move into zoo management in a heartbeat, but it's highly unlikely.
My new plan is to put my all into my projects (that will mostly be unpaid things I accomplish on my own time but are important and fulfilling to me) and try to accomplish as much as possible before my time is up. As of this moment, my plan is to continue working at the very least until I have another major foot injury. If/when that happens, I will re-evaluate. I am doing what I want to do and will fight to do it until the bitter end.
Otherwise, things are going pretty well. We all have this week off of work/school and Gene and I spent the past two days tearing out the living room carpet and prepping the floor to put in that fake wood. Our house just isn't worth huge expense and we have too many pets to have carpeting. The kids are playing with friends and staying up ridiculously late and sleeping in ridiculously late. We're not going anywhere and we're all happy to stay home. Oh, Logan and I did go to Chicago for the day on Saturday in search of snowy owls. We spent most of the day searching along the lakefront, but I think it was too warm and too crowded with people. We saw lots of gulls and mergansers, but no owls. Logan took his metal detector, but his treasure hunting didn't last long with all the disgusting stuff found on the big city beaches. It wasn't the best birding ever, but we had a good time. At least it was a beautiful day!
Happy New Year!
So, then, what is the point of this blog? I'm not really sure and maybe it doesn't have one. After all the years I've put into it, I'm not quite ready to scrap it. I imagine this year I will either find another use for it or else it will fade into oblivion. I'm still writing quite a bit for work and for personal pleasure. I'm also now a board member in charge of the newsletter for the local Audubon Society. My term starts in January so I still have no clue what that entails. I'll probably find out soon. I'm also working on some stuff for AAZK (zoo keeper group) that could potentially take a lot of my free time. I guess right now I will plan to update the old blog about once a month. It will probably be more often if exciting things are happening and less often if everything is same old, same old.
Moving on to my whining about my foot blog... Since my last update in November, I learned that I have a new and different entrapped nerve in my foot. I assumed my nerve issues were left over from my surgery last year, but that seems unlikely because of the different location of the pain/sensations. This news hit me kind of hard because it meant that I had yet another issue with my foot. I got 4 or 5 weekly alcohol injections that got progressively worse to the point I went from basically losing every weekend to pain to spending the entire week- shot to shot- in excruciating pain. Work was horrible. The doc wanted to put me on a prescription for nerve pain and tried to get me to go back on prescription pain meds. (Meaning arthritis meds, not Vicodin.) No. I have terrible side effects from that stuff. I'm going to stick with my vitamins and all natural anti-inflammatories. I have no side effects and they work at least as well as the scripts. I decided to quit the shots and just see what happens. I still have some pain, but the nerve issue seems to be slowly improving. I'm just going to wait and see what happens.
My giant fear when I missed a bunch of work due to a torn tendon back in July was that I was going to reinjure myself and have no more paid time off. Well, I'm coming around to my anniversary date on January 30 and at that time will get 6 more weeks of sick time. I have enough E-time saved up that as long as I can make it through next week without major injury, I can make it to my anniversary date with paid time off. Not that I have any real thought that I will have another injury, it's just very comforting to know that I won't be BOOM, out of work and out of pay.
Over the past several months I have spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to decide what to do about work. Zoo keeping is what I love and what I am passionate about. I find my work fulfilling and meaningful and I think I'm pretty good at it. Some of my friends have left/are planning to leave the field claiming they want to do something to "make a difference". Good for them, but I don't feel that way. I think I have and am making a difference doing what I'm doing. I have a few more tricks up my sleeve and a few more things I'd like to accomplish before I move on. If I had the opportunity, I'd move into zoo management in a heartbeat, but it's highly unlikely.
My new plan is to put my all into my projects (that will mostly be unpaid things I accomplish on my own time but are important and fulfilling to me) and try to accomplish as much as possible before my time is up. As of this moment, my plan is to continue working at the very least until I have another major foot injury. If/when that happens, I will re-evaluate. I am doing what I want to do and will fight to do it until the bitter end.
Otherwise, things are going pretty well. We all have this week off of work/school and Gene and I spent the past two days tearing out the living room carpet and prepping the floor to put in that fake wood. Our house just isn't worth huge expense and we have too many pets to have carpeting. The kids are playing with friends and staying up ridiculously late and sleeping in ridiculously late. We're not going anywhere and we're all happy to stay home. Oh, Logan and I did go to Chicago for the day on Saturday in search of snowy owls. We spent most of the day searching along the lakefront, but I think it was too warm and too crowded with people. We saw lots of gulls and mergansers, but no owls. Logan took his metal detector, but his treasure hunting didn't last long with all the disgusting stuff found on the big city beaches. It wasn't the best birding ever, but we had a good time. At least it was a beautiful day!
Happy New Year!
Friday, November 29, 2013
Black Friday
I had a terrible week at work with stupid foot pain. For some reason, it hurt if I had anything touching my foot, so wearing a sock and shoe was miserable. I wasn't sleeping much at night and the pain was the non-stop, annoying kind that made me incredibly irritable and impatient. Fortunately, Thursday was Thanksgiving Day and a short day where 5 keepers go in and do 3 hours worth of feeding, watering, medicating and basic cleaning. We were in at 6:45am and I was home by 10am. The great thing about working holidays is that I am wide awake and ready to take on the entire day, but suddenly get to go home and have the rest of the day off still early in the morning.
My bad week took a sudden turn for the much better. I would probably never buy a turkey, but I get a free one from work. Usually I donate the bird, but this year I decided to make the whole Thanksgiving feast for my family. I've made a few turkeys before, but this was the first time I actually remembered to remove both the neck and the giblets before cooking. This was also the first time I basted the bird rather than using one of those plastic bags and I must say that it turned out fantastic. The white meat is tender and juicy and the legs were falling off the bird when it was finished. I also made real mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie (made by Kaylin.) We also had Stove Top Stuffing because the kids won't touch it anyway and jarred gravy because the one time I made real gravy from drippings it made me gag and I couldn't eat it. (Everybody else liked it, so it tasted fine, it was the gross process that got to me... I love that I scoop poop for a living but can't handle making gravy. Such is life.) Anyway, it turned out to be a really relaxing day hanging out with Gene and the kids. It was exactly what I needed. Everyone enjoyed the feast and Kaylin's pie was excellent.
Today we're hanging out together at home. Everyone got to sleep in and I even slept almost 8 full hours in my bed. That feels like a record. I then hung out all early morning watching TV in my recliner while both dogs and both cats took turns sleeping with me. At one point both dogs had Princess sandwiched between them and we dozed like that for a good half hour until Scout couldn't take it anymore and chased Princess off. I escaped their altercation with no injuries, but they've been having a standoff with much barking and hissing for the past several hours. Gage plunks down like a bag of sand and sleeps through everyone stepping on him or trying to shove him off. Tiger is bigger than the other pets so he just stands his ground like a brick wall and everyone eventually leaves him alone. They keep the peace by their indifference :)
Gene and Logan might go to the driving range later, but I think I'll just hang out and rest. I'm definitely not going shopping anywhere except maybe Kroger. I think we'll have a day of leftovers and pets and video games and relaxation. I'm going to try to keep off my feet and keep calm. I can't believe it's almost December and almost the end of the year. This year is just flying by!
My bad week took a sudden turn for the much better. I would probably never buy a turkey, but I get a free one from work. Usually I donate the bird, but this year I decided to make the whole Thanksgiving feast for my family. I've made a few turkeys before, but this was the first time I actually remembered to remove both the neck and the giblets before cooking. This was also the first time I basted the bird rather than using one of those plastic bags and I must say that it turned out fantastic. The white meat is tender and juicy and the legs were falling off the bird when it was finished. I also made real mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and pumpkin pie (made by Kaylin.) We also had Stove Top Stuffing because the kids won't touch it anyway and jarred gravy because the one time I made real gravy from drippings it made me gag and I couldn't eat it. (Everybody else liked it, so it tasted fine, it was the gross process that got to me... I love that I scoop poop for a living but can't handle making gravy. Such is life.) Anyway, it turned out to be a really relaxing day hanging out with Gene and the kids. It was exactly what I needed. Everyone enjoyed the feast and Kaylin's pie was excellent.
Today we're hanging out together at home. Everyone got to sleep in and I even slept almost 8 full hours in my bed. That feels like a record. I then hung out all early morning watching TV in my recliner while both dogs and both cats took turns sleeping with me. At one point both dogs had Princess sandwiched between them and we dozed like that for a good half hour until Scout couldn't take it anymore and chased Princess off. I escaped their altercation with no injuries, but they've been having a standoff with much barking and hissing for the past several hours. Gage plunks down like a bag of sand and sleeps through everyone stepping on him or trying to shove him off. Tiger is bigger than the other pets so he just stands his ground like a brick wall and everyone eventually leaves him alone. They keep the peace by their indifference :)
Gene and Logan might go to the driving range later, but I think I'll just hang out and rest. I'm definitely not going shopping anywhere except maybe Kroger. I think we'll have a day of leftovers and pets and video games and relaxation. I'm going to try to keep off my feet and keep calm. I can't believe it's almost December and almost the end of the year. This year is just flying by!
Thursday, November 14, 2013
November Update
Again, time is flying and I have so many other things to do I completely forgot about the old blog. Since my last entry, the kids went trick-or-treating on a rainy Halloween night and scored ridiculous amounts of candy that I am still munching on almost daily. Both kids decided they were too old to go out and then at the last minute decided they needed to go. I had already worked in the rain all day, so Gene was kind enough to take them. I had my 41st birthday and was not using a walker or any other old people device. 40 pretty much sucked, so I'm glad to have it behind me. Logan celebrated his 11th birthday with everything Minecraft. I am so sick of this stupid game that both kids play endlessly and has no beginning, end or point.
Logan received a metal detector as his birthday present from my parents. His new thing is treasure hunting. We've been out three times and he hasn't found anything of value, not even a penny, but he loves everything he does find. Fish hooks, sinkers, random pieces of metal large and small... He is accumulating a large collection of useless junk. I bird and look for rocks and stuff while he digs up his latest piece of rusty barge. It's pretty fun and gets us out of the house and into the great outdoors.
My foot. I don't even know what to say about it. Every time I feel confident that it's getting better, it flares and puts me in my place. I'm currently going through a series of alcohol injections that are supposed to help or even completely end the nerve pain from my surgery last year. I usually just have some tingling and numbness below my pinky toe, but for some reason the pain started flaring again a few weeks ago. The shots themselves are no big deal, but for hours afterward it feels like what your mouth feels like on Novocain. Then I have several days of pressure pain that is pretty bad the two days after the injection and slowly gets better over the week until my next injection. Actually, I'm awake right now because the weird pain and itching from yesterday's injection is keeping me from sleep. I hopefully only have one more injection, but may have up to four more. Ugh. Stupid foot.
I've got a bunch of other stuff I'm working on and will probably not post again anytime soon. It's a busy time of year, I guess.
Logan received a metal detector as his birthday present from my parents. His new thing is treasure hunting. We've been out three times and he hasn't found anything of value, not even a penny, but he loves everything he does find. Fish hooks, sinkers, random pieces of metal large and small... He is accumulating a large collection of useless junk. I bird and look for rocks and stuff while he digs up his latest piece of rusty barge. It's pretty fun and gets us out of the house and into the great outdoors.
My foot. I don't even know what to say about it. Every time I feel confident that it's getting better, it flares and puts me in my place. I'm currently going through a series of alcohol injections that are supposed to help or even completely end the nerve pain from my surgery last year. I usually just have some tingling and numbness below my pinky toe, but for some reason the pain started flaring again a few weeks ago. The shots themselves are no big deal, but for hours afterward it feels like what your mouth feels like on Novocain. Then I have several days of pressure pain that is pretty bad the two days after the injection and slowly gets better over the week until my next injection. Actually, I'm awake right now because the weird pain and itching from yesterday's injection is keeping me from sleep. I hopefully only have one more injection, but may have up to four more. Ugh. Stupid foot.
I've got a bunch of other stuff I'm working on and will probably not post again anytime soon. It's a busy time of year, I guess.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Another round...
Once again, it's my favorite time of year- parent-teacher conferences!!! The kids' school offers conferences on Thursday evening and Friday morning. Friday is my day off so I have always gone Friday morning. Well, this year with two kids and 10 different teachers, I made Gene come with me Thursday. The school has two gyms (the smaller one is used as a cafeteria) so 5th and 6th grade teachers are in one gym and 7th and 8th in the other. The teachers sit at a table with 2 chairs in front and you line up and wait. And for the chatty teachers, you wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and it takes all of your self-control to not just walk out and go get ice cream instead. It's an awful system, but it works.
Thursday morning as we were driving into the school parking lot for drop-off, Logan told me I'd probably be disappointed with his grades. I was teasing him and asked if he'd been playing too much Minecraft and not studying enough? He completely flipped out and yelled "STUDY! I DO NOT STUDY!" Then he muttered a bunch of stuff about how ridiculous I was being to think that he would study and then it was his turn to get out of the car. I drove to work, part laughing, part stunned and part a little scared of seeing his report card. We never have had a follow up conversation about studying, but I'm going to have to guess that my general definition of "study" that was encompassing all aspects of homework is NOT Logan's definition. His report card was excellent other than his science grade and that was due to one late assignment and few grades overall.
For meet the teacher night in early September, Gene went to Kaylin's classes and I went to Logan's. We switched for conferences. Gene said that all of Logan's teachers said he was great to have in class. He participates and isn't disruptive and does a good job. (Haha, they will never know that he absolutely does not study!) Kaylin's teachers said the same things I've been hearing since 3rd grade. She's very quiet in class, very smart and understands all the material. If she doesn't have an A in the class it is ALWAYS because she failed to turn in assignments. She does the assignments, she just can't seem to locate them when she needs to.
My biggest annoyance of the night was when I got home and showed Kaylin her report card. Her first comment was "An A in gym? I wear Crocs every day and sit on the bleachers with my friends. I guess I'll keep doing what I'm doing." Obviously, that's a terrible attitude, but how can I argue? Seriously, if they are going to give her an A when she doesn't participate at all but she's not disruptive, she might as well keep doing what she's doing. The gym teachers probably don't even know her name. Whatever. Another thing to add to my list of why I don't believe report card grades mean anything.
I'm glad conferences are over for a few more months. I had no surprises about the kids and no teachers physically touched me in any way beyond a handshake. Success!
Thursday morning as we were driving into the school parking lot for drop-off, Logan told me I'd probably be disappointed with his grades. I was teasing him and asked if he'd been playing too much Minecraft and not studying enough? He completely flipped out and yelled "STUDY! I DO NOT STUDY!" Then he muttered a bunch of stuff about how ridiculous I was being to think that he would study and then it was his turn to get out of the car. I drove to work, part laughing, part stunned and part a little scared of seeing his report card. We never have had a follow up conversation about studying, but I'm going to have to guess that my general definition of "study" that was encompassing all aspects of homework is NOT Logan's definition. His report card was excellent other than his science grade and that was due to one late assignment and few grades overall.
For meet the teacher night in early September, Gene went to Kaylin's classes and I went to Logan's. We switched for conferences. Gene said that all of Logan's teachers said he was great to have in class. He participates and isn't disruptive and does a good job. (Haha, they will never know that he absolutely does not study!) Kaylin's teachers said the same things I've been hearing since 3rd grade. She's very quiet in class, very smart and understands all the material. If she doesn't have an A in the class it is ALWAYS because she failed to turn in assignments. She does the assignments, she just can't seem to locate them when she needs to.
My biggest annoyance of the night was when I got home and showed Kaylin her report card. Her first comment was "An A in gym? I wear Crocs every day and sit on the bleachers with my friends. I guess I'll keep doing what I'm doing." Obviously, that's a terrible attitude, but how can I argue? Seriously, if they are going to give her an A when she doesn't participate at all but she's not disruptive, she might as well keep doing what she's doing. The gym teachers probably don't even know her name. Whatever. Another thing to add to my list of why I don't believe report card grades mean anything.
I'm glad conferences are over for a few more months. I had no surprises about the kids and no teachers physically touched me in any way beyond a handshake. Success!
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Slow down, October!
Wow, once again I have fallen way, way behind on blogging! The rest of my zoo keeper conference was fantastic. They turned up the temperature in our main conference hall and it was cool but comfortable the rest of the week. We spent one entire day at the North Carolina Zoo which was huge. Most of the animal enclosures (at least for the hoofstock) were enormous, which is great for the animals, but the layout of the zoo was such that you walked and walked and walked between exhibits. I compared it to if Peoria Zoo kept our same number of animals but increased the size of the grounds by about 10 times. I would say about 80% of the time you were walking through the wooded grounds with no animal enclosures in sight. I probably would have loved the zoo if not for my bad foot. I mean, I DID love the zoo, but I didn't love walking the zoo. Someone said it was 5 miles from one end to the other, but I have no idea if that is true. It felt like 5 miles!
I missed the kids and Gene was planning to take them to a White Sox game in Chicago for the weekend, so I drove home in 15 hours on Friday. It was a loooooooong drive all at once, but I was glad to be home all day on Saturday. The White Sox plans went all wonky and Kaylin ended up staying home but spending the night with my parents and Logan and Gene went to the game but only on Sunday. The boys had a great time at the Sox game where they got free tickets and $10 parking. Their Sox game ended up being cheaper than a Chiefs game!
I returned to work on Sunday, September 30th. I hadn't worn my boot cast since the last day I worked a week and a half before, but my doctor told me I should probably put it back on when I went back to work. I did and it was a big mistake. By lunch my calf was so cramped I could hardly walk. I took off the boot for the rest of the day, but spent the rest of the week stretching and massaging the knots out of my calf. I've now completed two weeks of work without the boot and while my foot is far from perfect, I can make it through the work day without icing. It seems like my tendon tear pain is completely healed and gone, but my foot is still weak overall and the nerve pain by my pinkie toe is still flaring. It's not ideal, but I've worked with much worse pain and it seems to get slightly better over time.
Work's been a bit crazy with preparing everything for the cold season and the zoo preparing for Howl-Zoo-Ween. I had to round up the budgies in the aviary to bring them inside for the winter. After a week of preparation, feeding the birds mostly inside, adjusting doors and waiting for cool night time temperatures, the majority of the ~200 birds were locked inside last Saturday night. My boss worked late at a special event and snuck down after dark and shut the door. It was a surprisingly good catch! I only had ~50 more birds to round up outside. On Sunday, I hung sheets across half of the aviary and several coworkers came down and we netted birds until there were only 8 remaining outside. I then set a food "trap" in one of the double-doored vestibules the zoo visitors use to enter the aviary. It was basically like putting all their food into a closet. I came in early Monday morning and all of the birds were happily eating. I shut the door and then just had to net them in the small area. It was sort of fun and definitely gave a sense of accomplishment when complete.
Kaylin and I worked at Howl-Zoo-Ween last night. Our zoo keeper group was selling glow necklaces as a fundraiser and Kaylin came along to help. I bought 450 necklaces online and felt it was a major financial risk. Thursday night was for zoo members only and only 50 necklaces were sold. I about panicked wondering how much money we would lose because of MY purchase. I need not have worried. The event was PACKED last night and the six of us working sold ~325 of the remaining necklaces, with ~25 defective and unsellable. I'm sure they will have no problem selling 50 necklaces tonight! Even if it pours rain and no one shows up, we will still make a good profit! It was fun to see all of the costumed kids and Kaylin and I even had time to walk the trick-or-treat trail for candy.
Otherwise, almost everything is pretty normal. The kids are doing their school thing and the pets are doing their pet things. Gene had a lay-off week from work last week and will have at least one more before the end of the year. I'm still keeping my eyes and ears open for other career opportunities, but am very much hoping to be able to remain a zoo keeper for a while longer. I suppose only time will tell. I was somewhat encouraged this week because while I was scrolling through some online want ads, just seeing what is available, I was interested in 3 different jobs I would currently qualify for and another job I had never thought of that I would probably only need a few classes to qualify. I know competition is probably fierce and just because I'm interested doesn't mean I would actually get the jobs, but it is an incredible feeling to know there is something out there.
I missed the kids and Gene was planning to take them to a White Sox game in Chicago for the weekend, so I drove home in 15 hours on Friday. It was a loooooooong drive all at once, but I was glad to be home all day on Saturday. The White Sox plans went all wonky and Kaylin ended up staying home but spending the night with my parents and Logan and Gene went to the game but only on Sunday. The boys had a great time at the Sox game where they got free tickets and $10 parking. Their Sox game ended up being cheaper than a Chiefs game!
I returned to work on Sunday, September 30th. I hadn't worn my boot cast since the last day I worked a week and a half before, but my doctor told me I should probably put it back on when I went back to work. I did and it was a big mistake. By lunch my calf was so cramped I could hardly walk. I took off the boot for the rest of the day, but spent the rest of the week stretching and massaging the knots out of my calf. I've now completed two weeks of work without the boot and while my foot is far from perfect, I can make it through the work day without icing. It seems like my tendon tear pain is completely healed and gone, but my foot is still weak overall and the nerve pain by my pinkie toe is still flaring. It's not ideal, but I've worked with much worse pain and it seems to get slightly better over time.
Work's been a bit crazy with preparing everything for the cold season and the zoo preparing for Howl-Zoo-Ween. I had to round up the budgies in the aviary to bring them inside for the winter. After a week of preparation, feeding the birds mostly inside, adjusting doors and waiting for cool night time temperatures, the majority of the ~200 birds were locked inside last Saturday night. My boss worked late at a special event and snuck down after dark and shut the door. It was a surprisingly good catch! I only had ~50 more birds to round up outside. On Sunday, I hung sheets across half of the aviary and several coworkers came down and we netted birds until there were only 8 remaining outside. I then set a food "trap" in one of the double-doored vestibules the zoo visitors use to enter the aviary. It was basically like putting all their food into a closet. I came in early Monday morning and all of the birds were happily eating. I shut the door and then just had to net them in the small area. It was sort of fun and definitely gave a sense of accomplishment when complete.
Kaylin and I worked at Howl-Zoo-Ween last night. Our zoo keeper group was selling glow necklaces as a fundraiser and Kaylin came along to help. I bought 450 necklaces online and felt it was a major financial risk. Thursday night was for zoo members only and only 50 necklaces were sold. I about panicked wondering how much money we would lose because of MY purchase. I need not have worried. The event was PACKED last night and the six of us working sold ~325 of the remaining necklaces, with ~25 defective and unsellable. I'm sure they will have no problem selling 50 necklaces tonight! Even if it pours rain and no one shows up, we will still make a good profit! It was fun to see all of the costumed kids and Kaylin and I even had time to walk the trick-or-treat trail for candy.
Otherwise, almost everything is pretty normal. The kids are doing their school thing and the pets are doing their pet things. Gene had a lay-off week from work last week and will have at least one more before the end of the year. I'm still keeping my eyes and ears open for other career opportunities, but am very much hoping to be able to remain a zoo keeper for a while longer. I suppose only time will tell. I was somewhat encouraged this week because while I was scrolling through some online want ads, just seeing what is available, I was interested in 3 different jobs I would currently qualify for and another job I had never thought of that I would probably only need a few classes to qualify. I know competition is probably fierce and just because I'm interested doesn't mean I would actually get the jobs, but it is an incredible feeling to know there is something out there.
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